Sleep... Or lack there of.

I had these wonderful intentions of going to bed early last night and for once I actually followed through.  I was in bed and asleep by 9:30!  But, of course, it was the worst sleep that I think I have ever had and coming from me (the master of horrible sleep) that really says something.  Dustin is like a sleep ninja.  He just goes to bed and says "time for sleep" and his entire body just shuts down and off to dreamland he goes for the night.  Once asleep he rarely wakes up until his alarm clock goes off for the first time.  After 9 years I'm still trying to figure out what his trick is.  He tells me he "just goes to sleep".  Yeah must be nice.

I've had trouble sleeping since I can remember.  It's not that my mind wanders, though I do get bored and start thinking about stuff.  It's not that I don't tire myself out during the day.  It's not that I am not tired when I go to bed.  It's not that I don't have a bed time routine, as I do work so I have to stay on somewhat of a schedule.  And once I am asleep I have no trouble staying asleep.  It's the actual getting to sleep part that I have problems with.  

I have tried everything: doctors, sleeping pills, magic teas, lavender baths, etc.  Nothing seems to work, unless you call making me even more tired and cranky working.  I was always told that a human bean needs 8 hours of sleep to function normally.  So I must not be functioning properly if I was only getting 3-5 hours?  Doctors were mildly concerned about my lack of sleep, as like I said, you need 8 hours to function properly, so there must be something wrong with me.  I had blood test after blood test, answered many many questions and there was nothing wrong with me.  I was doing everything right, but most importantly, I wasn't overly tired all the time.  Lots of times I actually feel more rested after 4 hours of sleep than I do when I actually got 8 hours.

Eventually I just gave up fighting my inability to get to sleep.  I have embraced it, come to terms with it, and even worked with it.  Instead of getting mad that I can't get to sleep, I started using that time for more useful things.  I think this worked out slightly in my favor because now, when I have to get up in the middle of the night with the Muk Muk, it isn't that big of a deal.  I am fully functional on 3 solid hours of sleep, though many days in a row of this makes me a little tired-cranky.  I have also started to make sure that I stay in bed for as long as I can to "rest".  Even though I'm not actually sleeping, I still lay in bed which lets my body rest up for the next day.  This might sound a little weird, but it's been working for me for the last 3-4 years.  I let my mind wander, I work out the worlds problems, I plan my week, and all the while my body is resting and rejuvenating itself.  This leaves me feeling like I got more rest than I actually did as opposed to when I would get up and pace the house and get angry that I was missing precious, valuable, platinum sleep (it also let's me organize my life at the mental level).

Despite my history of "bad" sleep habits, last night was terrible.  I actually got a fair amount of sleep and this morning I am so TIRED!  After three cups of coffee I feel like I was hit by a bus and am still squished on the pavement trying to get up.  My head is foggy, my body is still asleep, and my eyes keep drooping.  This better quit soon, because I have to go to work today and use my brain to make some money :)  Stupid, stupid me thinking going to bed early and getting lots of sleep would work out in my favor.